The humorists at the Harvard Lampoon are accept aim at klutzy girls and glistering vampires with their novel - length Twilight parody Nightlight . Expect a vain , vampire - obsessed narrator , unnecessary adjectives , and a computer geek who simply ca n’t be vex with girls .
Nightlight , which has just been unfreeze , is the Harvard Lampoon ’s first maraud into parody novel - writing since its 1969 mockery Bored of the Rings . But this bulk appear to be an obsessive , scene - for - scene parody of Meyer ’s Book , lampooning not only Meyer ’s writing and graphic symbol , but also the vampire madden itself . Belle Goose is the new girl in the dreary town of Switchblade ( some of the jest appear to have been written via Mad Libs ) , where she spy her handsome class fellow Edwart Mullen . She immediately decide that Edwart is both her soulmate and a vampire ( thanks in part to his aversion to tater tots and his rescuing her from a sweet sand verbena ) , and that she must convince him to make her his undead wife . But there are mint of sendup of Meyer ’s writing style , such as when Belle describes being “ unconditionally , irrevocably , impenetrably , heterogeneously , gynecologically , and disreputably ” kissed by Edwart , and the scene when we first meet the supposed lamia boy :
It was then that I saw him . He was sitting at a tabular array all by himself , not even eat on . He had an intact tray of sunbaked potatoes in front of him and still he did not touch a single one . How could a human being have his pick of baked potatoes and resist them all ? Even odder , he had n’t notice me , Belle Goose , future Academy Award victor .
A computer sat before him on the mesa . He stared intently at the cover , narrow his middle into slits and concentrating those slits on the screen as if the only thing that matter to him was physically rule that screen . He was sinewy , like a man who could pin you up against the paries as easily as a poster , yet thin , like a man who would rather cradle you in his arms . He had blood-red , blond - brown hair that was groom heterosexually . He look older than the other boy in the room – possibly not as sometime as God or my Padre , but surely a workable replacement . reckon if you accept every womanhood ’s idea of a hot guy and average out it out into one human being . This was that adult male .
A trailer of the entire first chapter is useable atEntertainment Weekly .
[ Nightlight ]
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